“There is no way agent forty-five’s supporters cannot know that he is a danger to America.”

“That so many of its citizens would destroy America out of misguided fidelity to a philanderer, adulterer, and proven habitual liar is a phenomenon that will forever fuel scholarly debate. That the truth, no matter how plentiful, could not sway them is a mystery that will generate psychological studies for generations.”

“If America is the Christian nation White evangelicals and Christian nationalists claim it is, whose teachings is it following?”

“No matter how much I think about it, and I’ve thought about it a lot, I can’t seem to put my finger on when America became a country divided by people who want to protect the rights of its citizens, and people who want to take them!”

“My fellow Americans, I come to you today to report the demise of the late great United States. She now lies cold and still before us, no longer dying but already dead.”